What.Ju.Sturbie.Writes.

stubborn.taurus
quiet.patient

complicated thoughts with a simple mind

THIS IS
:: sturbie ::

designer: somewaytolov-e
images: music+pixels

11:44 PM / Wednesday, August 08, 2007

dear readers,
please note that the following content is not directed to any person in particular
and since THIS IS(after all) my blog,
i find that i should not restrict myself in any statements that will in any manner direct/indirectly offend anyone
and to those who know me
DO NOT; think there is something/someone i'm trying to imply
READ TITLE, please
tis is a post for myself
very PERSONAL.

to begin with;
i have truckloads of pots and pans playing an orchestra in my head
however, as i'm withering, the clock remains ticking...
i do make analysis u know
i gave thoughts to my issues,
i'd try my best to iron out the differences
get to mutual agreements
minimise misunderstandings
give in at a considerably just to stop small squabbles
put up with cristisises and demoralizations
i'm certainly not as dimwit i portray myself to be or how other ppl perceive me as, sad to say

speaking of which, does regular being live their life similarly these days?
for instance;
stuff that they can't come to agreement with
or matters that cannot be resolved
does it mean it can be officially neglected?
kept in the closet forever?
"taboo" it?
wait till it's history and be discreetly dismissed?
but what happens if someone breaks this taboo
attempt to re-visit the initial problems?
wat becomes of this 'taboo'?
do we go thru the holy tiring cycle of repitition of kiss and forget
all over again
for that matter then;
i'd choose the ignorant strategy

and what's this with ignorance is bliss
how long can we actually live in ignorance?
how long can we act as if it we don't talk about some matters
we would be fine
how long can we NOT face some facts
and be accommodating to the extent to try to work our ways around it?
how long can we play the deaf ear and keep our fingers crossed
and just how long can we try pushing our luck
hoping unresolved matters fall into place

i am, like any other beings
can be in an emotional roller coaster
but i may choose not to prominently display my feelings thru my behaviors
and burden people with problem that is not even theirs to begin with
sometimes i can upset over the slightest detail
yet i feel as if i have not rights to be at it that way
sometimes when someone tell me "we didn't even talk"
i wanted to ask " did you even plan to listen?"
sometimes when something(s) didn't happen
i wish i wasn't blame bcos it was something i didn't do
sometimes when i thought i was help
i ended up being told off at
sometimes when mocked/ laughed
i wish they could still remember to retain the least dignity for me
sometimes when i feel lonely even when I'm not alone
i really wish, i was dead

all untainable wishes
or should we say "wishful thinking"
is churning up a whirl wind in my brain
I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE

maybe sometimes I just have to turn things upside down to get the right side up

doesn't quite matter, does it?
end of the day; i'm not anyone indispensable
at least that's how i've felt all this while
its the action tt speaks louder than words